Hello and welcome to Unsolicited Advice. A couple of times a week I'll answer questions sent to real advice columnists. Today's letter was sent to Miss Manners. Let's have a look-see.

Dear Miss Manners: My wife is training for a marathon. She's very athletic, a beautiful woman and a mother of five who keeps herself fit through running. She is planning on competing in a marathon out of town, and going with her sister and her sister's two adult children. Our children will still be in school, so I will be staying home.

What my wife has proposed is that to save money, she would share a hotel room with her sister and her sister's two children.

My concern is that one of these grown children is a 22-year-old male. I wouldn't call myself a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I believe that it is improper for my wife to share a hotel room with an adult male, even if he is her nephew. My wife tells me that if she can't share the cost of the hotel, she won't be able to live her dream of running a marathon. "And besides," she says, "he's my nephew."

My argument is that he may be her nephew, but he's still a grown man.

Dear Fuck-for-brains:
The other day I was at Wal-Mart. I saw a woman with five children who had to weigh six bills if she weighed an ounce. Instead of a running marathon, she was training for an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon on TBS by buying a metric ton of salted lard nuggets. You should be married to her, Potsie, because you don't deserve the wife you have.

You say "I wouldn't call myself a prude by any stretch of the imagination..." Well, your imagination doesn't stretch very far! You want to shit on your wife's dreams because one of the four people in the hotel room is her 22-year-old nephew? Do you think he's just going to walk around swinging-dick naked in front of a sibling, an aunt, and his mother?!

My advice to you is to take out a large insurance policy, then kill yourself in a way that looks like an accident. Your wife will be able to use the money to buy each family member their own hotel room and everyone will be happy, including the demon who'll be sodomizing you in hell.