Dear Mrs. Web,
I have been dating a guy over the net. We are close and even told each other that we loved each other and we both really mean it. I am almost 16 and he is 18.
Now he won't email me back or even try to find me on the net. I know he has a steady job but shouldn't he make time for his girlfriend? Please tell me what to do.
Dear Jailbait:
Sorry, I'm stuck on the line "told each other that we loved each other and we both really mean it." Since he is making no effort to contact you, he probably didn't "mean it" at all. In all likelihood he found another girl to IM while feverishly masturbating and eating fried dough.
A lot of people will tell you "Hey, you're only sixteen; you'll have lots of chances to find love." Well, DON'T YOU BELIEVE 'EM, SISTER! You seem particularly needy and delusional; this may have been your one chance. And you blew it. How could you have been so stupid?
Okay, in all fairness, there are a few other possible reasons for his internet absence:
-He's really forty-seven and got scared off watching an episode of To Catch a Predator.
-He killed himself.
6 comments:
It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people are. I feel sorry for the next asshole that happens to get involved with this chick. He is the one that might actually kill himself.
That's not true. I am NOT 47!
He may not be 47, but he does love his fried dough.
In all fairness to fried dough...
I bet Mrs. Web gets the BEST mail.
I'm really glad this girl can't get pregnant over the internet.
http://funnyroll.blogspot.com/
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