Wednesday, February 11, 2009

More pointless bickering!

DEAR ABBY: Would you mind settling a debate? My friend Tony was born in New York. His parents moved the family to Florida when he was 6.

Tony's wife was born and raised in New York, and he says he is "from New York." She disagrees and tells him he is from Florida because he was raised there.

When someone asks, "Where are you from?" (geographically), what is the correct response? -- BORN IN JERSEY, RAISED IN FLORIDA

Dear Jersey:

Obviously Tony's wife is from New York, because only a New Yorker would make such a big deal of something so insignificant. Tony's wife is the Seinfeld of nagging.

Tony, on the other hand, is an insecure fleeb who thinks being "from New York" makes him cool. Unless he was a founding member of the Velvet Underground, it does not.

So what is the correct response? Who cares? Who gives a fly-buzzed fuck-cubby? You need to stop engaging in "debates" with fucking neurotics and concentrate on more important matters, which in your case probably includes remembering to wipe your ass. The orginal Dear Abby should come back from the dead and haunt your stupid ass for asking such a question. I sincerely hope you awaken one night to find Abby spectre-fucking you with a dildo molded from disgraced televangelist Ted Haggard's penis.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

aren't you from Vegas? :)

Ubermilf said...

Why would someone marry someone like that? Why wasn't that the question?

Vast Right Wing Conspirator said...

I just rented a house to a porn star. Doesn't pertain to this post, but thought you would want to know. Oh, and it is 2 doors down from me.